Unexpected Blessings

Yesterday was probably one of my best days at work in several months, simply for the fact that I took care of an actual "PICU" patient. To define "PICU patient" I will simply say that the child was sedated on several drips and was on a ventilator. To give LPCH some credit, they have experienced a very low acuity these past few months and this type of patient has been rare, and even more rare for a traveler to have this assignment. I had actually taken care of this patient before and knew the family so it was a very enjoyable day both socially and mentally. On my way home from work I was thinking, "What a great evening to go for a walk...with a dog!". Currently my friend Jason is dog sitting for his parents, and since he has an open door policy at his house I decided to swing by after work. As I was pulling up I saw that his roommate and fiance were already walking little Vinnie but they were kind enough to humor me with a walk as well. Once I got home I checked my mailbox to find that my Starbucks Gold card had finally arrived and also a letter from the IRS stating that they owe me $200 still! And to top it off I got to talk to Em and Jenelle just one week after their visit out here.

Emma Jo, Jenelle, & me @ Cuvaison in Napa

Off to bed I went and morning came all too soon. I looked at the clock, hit snooze, waiting for the phone to ring saying I was cancelled due to low census. When it didn't by 5:15 I got up and started my day. At 5:30 I got a call saying I was cancelled until 11. I went back to bed and woke up at 9 wondering if I should get dressed for work or church. I took a chance and called in to see if they would need me at 11 and explained how I wanted to go to church at 10-12. At first I think the staffing office was shocked into silence at my request and then they explained that 1 person would need to come in...but I could be the one to get cancelled! I frantically got ready for church, and it was a great sermon by Bob (as always), then was able to have a lunch date with my friend Anne. Have I mentioned my love for Anne? She's normal, easy to talk to, understands social norms, is super smart, funny & sarcastic as well as brutally honest, and she is an amazing cook/baker! I then decided to take advantage of being so close to multiple beaches and headed off to Poplar Beach @ Half Moon Bay. I forgot how cold it was at the beaches up here so on the beach I sat with a sweatshirt on! Everyone else was bundled up too. One of my favorite things is to just sit on a beach all day and read a good book. Currently I'm re-reading the Ashley Stockingdale series by Kristen Billerbeck. I originally read these when in high school/early college and felt that I identified with the main character and now years later I again find myself identifying with her (Ashley). The books are based on Silicon Valley, Palo Alto specifically (where I'm currently living) and center on her church singles group filled with single engineers (pretty true, but throw in a few lawyers/IT/grad students) and how she wants more from life (yes, me too) but is trying to make the best of it while being single & she believes in retail therapy at Ann Taylor (I prefer LOFT). There's a little more depth than this description, but not much, it's Chick Lit. I enjoyed my solitude on the beach and headed back to PA to crash a BBQ. Overall, this turned out to be a great wkd! How was yours?

 

it's officially summer

It finally hit 90 degrees this week in Palo Alto! I know most people dread that, but it definitely got me excited! I spent 3 days baking by the pool this week. Yes, I know, I had told myself that I would not try to get tan and in my defense, I did apply an spf of 45 but still the SUV penetrated that barrier and I now look pink/red instead of just a pale white. However, the sting of a sunburn while sometimes painful is also a pleasant reminder to me that it is indeed summer and that "hey I'm not bright white" shade I'm currently wearing is so satisfying! It was so warm I even got in the pool! (Remember, it's been in the high 50's-low 70's here for months and our night time temps are 50's so the water isn't exactly warm!)

This week the Thursday pub night was held on a Wednesday. Originally I hadn't planned to attend since I was scheduled to work Wed/Thurs day shift but due to low patient census I was cancelled on Wed. This was my first free day of the entire month of June that I had no company and no plans (other than working!) It was glorious! Since it was so warm, and because of a few birthday/graduation celebrations amongst the group a house of girls were hosting this week with a "beach" theme. After a few hours of being lazy by the pool, I decided to procrastinate even longer on cleaning my apt and decided to whip up a few tropical desserts. I made an old favorite, Hawaiian Sheetcake, which I used to request for my birthday as well as trying a new recipe from my favorite food blogger Ree Drummond a.k.a the Pioneer Woman. I substitued lime for lemon and it was oh so dreamy! You should def make this treat for yourself soon! Yes, I said for yourself, you won't want to share these Creamy Lemon/Lime Crumb Squares!

Don't they look pretty on my Pink Depression glass? it was a bday gift from the sister :)

That's all for now, short and sweet.

26

Yesterday was my 26th birthday (YAY!) and to celebrate I was so fortunate to have my sister and our best friend Jenelle come visit from KY, as well as my SF besties Jess and Jenn, and my travel buddy/big sister Tonya help make this the best birthday wkd yet! It's so crazy that this time last year I was in California on vacation, visiting as far south as San Diego and as far north as San Fran and now I live here! We had a FUN*tabulous time together and thousands of pics were taken (that is not an exaggeration). Sadly, all the pics are in KY but when I get them I'll be eager to share them with you. So much happened and I don't have the time to properly blog it all, but here are the 26 highlights of my wkd.

1. How my heart started racing when I saw my sister standing on the curb at the Southwest baggage claim area
2. Late night In-N-Out burger with Em while chatting in the car
3. Passing my drug test (not that I was worried but it was quite time consuming)
4. Making orange-ginger pork stir-fry and watching TV while eating dinner with the sister
5. Picking up Jenelle from the airport, her first time on the West Coast and another late night In-N-Out burger trip
6. Iced coffee from Phillz (energy drink meets good mood creator)
7. Hilarious car trip up to Napa with Emily, Jenelle and Jenn (Brown) talking about "gel-nail" (said in Asian voice, think Anjelah Johnson and "Nail Salon" skit) and turning "L's" into "R's"
8. Riding the aerial tram at the Sterling Vineyard
9. Delicious, homemade, extravagant Neopolitan cupcakes from Tonya- complete with candles!
10. Mmmm....Mumm. Your bubbles are delicious.
11. Cuvaison
12. Cuvaison
13. Cuvaison....yes, it is THAT good it deserves to be mentioned 3 times
14. Delectable eating experience at A Fish Story (great pick by Tonya) complete with a few free apps b/c we had some KY girls with us
15. City scene at night from Twin Peaks
16. Bi-Rite creamery per Jenn's suggestion (heavenly flavors)
17. Em's horrified screams b/c of the steep SF streets while Jenelle screams in delight
18. Dim Sum in Chinatown
19. Epic photoshoot in Chinatown of Em 'n Jenelle
20. Riding the cable cars through town
21. Hitting up a good sale at Anthropologie
22. Sunset dinner at Boudin's
23. Still laughing over "gel-nail" and "I Ruv you"
24. Photoshoot at the Palace & GG with Em
25. Dinner/storytime with Jess @ Park Chow
26. The Civil Wars concert with Jess 'n Em

Big thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! It was truly overwhelming to be so loved and missed!

Remembering Why

Last week at work one of my patients was a newly diagnosed diabetic. As you can imagine, this can be devastating news to a teenager during their summer vacation- who had to leave a mission trip in Mexico early. Big bummer. She was a very sweet girl, with a great family and as we chatted away about her dream to be a beautician, going on mission trips, 4-H, etc. her blood glucose stabilized and we were able to turn the Insulin drip off and start carb counting to see how much Insulin we needed to give her before eating. In the ICU world we're great with Diabetic patients when on an Insulin drip, but we try to get them to the floor ASAP because we dread giving shots and carb counting, and aren't trained well for diabetic education! (Seriously, when I count carbs I think the more the better: Bread+pasta+cake. Not the right formula). Since no floor beds were available I had to suck it up, carb count, and give a shot :(

At lunch I tested her blood level and administered her shot. By dinner time I was pulling stuff out of the back of my brain on diabetic education that dates back to college days (don't roll your eyes, 4 years is a long time!). I gave her the option of either pricking her finger or administering the shot, she had to pick one. She chose the first option and it was a tearful, anxious attempt. She's shaking, sitting in the bed with parents and grandparents huddled around encouraging her. After several failed attempts to get close enough to prick her finger I gave an inspiring speech that went something like this:
          "Kara (not her real name), one day you'll be cutting some girl's hair and she'll have a frown on her face and you'll be thinking 'Oh no, she doesn't like the haircut' but you'll be brave and ask her instead 'So tell me what's going on in your life' and she'll reply, 'I just found out I'm diabetic.' To this you will reply, 'Guess what? Me too! The good news is that this disease doesn't own you, you own it!' "

By this point the family is all rallying behind me and she (Kara) is nodding her head in agreement that she CAN do this...and she does! I was so proud of her, and of course afterward she comments that it wasn't really that bad. I know this diagnosis is a bummer, and that it's a complete lifestyle change but compared to so many of the diagnosis I see she is one of the lucky ones.

She was transferred to the floor sometime during the night and had undergone enough teaching that day on the floor that she was getting discharged after dinner. Before leaving the hospital they came back to the PICU to tell me goodbye. They gave me a sweet, handwritten thank you card as well as a Starbucks gift card (totally unnecessary but it will be used!). It's been a few years since a family has expressed their kindness through action like this and it meant so much. As we said our goodbyes, and relayed how great it was to meet one another, I encouraged Kara to see her own mission field here at home and to remember that God knows her desire to serve in Mexico (after she gets her diabetes under control). Now the mom is crying, I've got tears in my eyes and the second round of hugging begins. This is the first time since being in California that I've openly been able to talk about God with a patient and their family. It used to be an every day occurrence when I worked at Duke b/c in the South just about everyone is a "Christian"/"goes to church". I'm so blessed to have met them, and my body will be thankful for the caffeine tomorrow morning as I go back to work after being off for 6 days.

Please stay tuned.

My sister just got into town late last night, and our dear friend Jenelle is on her way as I type this. All this to say, great fun is to be had these next few days so please forgive my lack of blogging, but do look forward to reading about our upcoming adventures! This just might be my best birthday wkd yet! Watch out California, the Kraftsingles are here!

TIMER

Last night I watched a movie, compliments of Netflix's recommendation, called Timer. I'll attempt to give a synposis but beware, i'll probably give it all away so SPOILER ALERT!

The setting is LA, where 2 sisters are each on a search for "the one" aided by an implanted device on their wrist that counts down until the day you will meet your match (hence the title "Timer"). One sister's timer reads that she won't find hers until in her early 40's (she's depressed about it but makes the most of it while sleeping around with soon to be "matched" men, not the best decision) while the other sister's timer is blank. A blank timer signifies that your match does not yet have a timer (the movie implies it's not as accepted/popular in Oklahoma, Kansas, etc.) so this character sometimes persuade men she's dating w/o timers to get one to find out if he's her match.

I can't say I've ever watched a sci-fi romantic comedy before, but it was definitely interesting! Lately the topic of "singleness" has been on my mind. As my blog title states it, I am single and I'm ok with that. In a way I prefer it b/c I know how to do the single thing well, dating is a bit unnerving since it's not a familiar activity for me. Recently I've spent a lot of time talking with friends about this topic. I first discussed it with a friend who like me grew up in small town America on the East Coast. We spent our time contrasting and comparing men and dating styles West v. East coast. Next I talked with several friends living here in PA about the dating demographics of our area and church. Most recently, my parents and I spent several hours during their visit discussing our thoughts/feelings/hopes/dreams. Fleet Foxes has a song called "Montezuma" and the opening lyrics are:
     "So now I am older than my mother and father
      when they had their daughter
      now what does that say about me"
It's funny b/c my parents and I just had that exact same conversation. They were married by my age, owned a home, and were trying to have a baby. I'm nowhere close to that! To quote the song, "What does that say about me"?

This can be viewed from several aspects.

• Depending on where I am geographically determines the culture of my singleness. When in my hometown of MD or in the South (yes, I know MD is the Mason Dixon line but honestly, that state is like Switzerland) I was more aware of my single status. I did feel, at times, that people looked at me weird for still being single and it made me wonder if there was something wrong with me. I'd even venture to say that 50-75% of my friends (high school+college+post college) are either seriously dating, engaged, married, or married with kids! It was more of an expectation of life. While living in California, being single at my age is as natural as breathing and that mindset (currently) makes me not worry or question "if I'll ever have a boyfriend or get married". So by the Atlantic standards I'm a little behind, but I've still got a few good years by Pacific standards.
• Depending on the audience and how old they are, combined with the customs of dating during their teen/s20's it creates an interesting dynamic when looking at my life. Back in the day marriage was more respected and necessary. If you wanted a car, a house, kids or to travel internationally/take great vacations then you probably needed to be get married. In today's world, I make enough money to afford a car, house, possibly even adopt my own kid if I never get married, and travel (instead of waiting to go somewhere exotic on my honeymoon b/c who knows when that will be.) I love my grandparents, and know that they love me, but I'm sure they are secretly wondering what is wrong with their cute, funny, successful granddaughter to cause her to still be single. If there is something wrong, please tell me so I can fix this "problem".
• In my personal opinion, being single at 25 (just a few days shy of 26) is fine. Originally I thought I'd go to college, meet my husband and graduate with both my BSN and MRS. degrees, but that didn't happen. Surprisingly, I was ok with it. Then I moved to a new place, started my nursing career, became an active member in a large singles group at my church, thought I'd meet a guy there like many of my friends did, and again it didn't happen. Still ok. So here I am gallivanting to different cities every 3 months and I've not yet started the path towards dating/marriage. Still ok...I think.

As stated above, I know the single life and do it well. Remaining comfortable is an easy choice. I've prioritized what areas of my life are adaptable to change based on risk of hurt. I probably won't get hurt or hurt someone else as I "date" these hospitals for a few months. They won't miss me so much that they cry in my absence, or talk about me until all the other new people tell them they're tired of it and want them to shut up. I can walk in and out knowing it's a 3 month commitment, and possibly longer if I choose it to be. However, taking a risk that someone else likes me and things may not work out, or things may work out for longer than 3 months---it sometimes terrifies me! I'd like to attribute this to my lack of dating history and conservative upbringing, but I don't want to lay blame on others so I'll own up to the fact that I'm scared of letting someone else down or wasting their time (could you guess I struggle with being a people pleaser?)

All this reflection to say, I probably wouldn't get a timer. Sometimes I think not knowing when "it" a.k.a. meeting the one is better. Maybe it's the element of surprise? Maybe it's the feeling that I can live life w/o expectations so that whenver something good happens I can be pleasantly surprised? I think my biggest worry currently is how selfish I feel my lifestyle has become and I fear being too independent. My parents asked me if I was praying for my husband, and I honestly had to answer no. While it is a desire, it is not my current desire. "He" is not someone I pray for regularly and maybe it's because I think that if I do start praying for him, then he'll come, and it won't go as I planned (yes, I have control issues). For now I'm praying that I'm more considerate of others, and that I can learn to ask for help or allow others to help even when I know I can do it on my own (I need to learn to share the burden).

There's so much more I could write, but that is enough for now. Any thoughts in being single in your 20's? I hope I didn't paint a depressing picture! If you've read any of my other posts I think you'd know that I am blessed with a great family and wonderful friendships that last across the miles, and always have an adventure right around the corner ;)

a very late Christmas present

This past week was quite busy as my parents were in town. For Christmas I gave them each a Southwest giftcard with the hopes that they could come visit me on assignment, somewhere fun :) We had to wait until mom was done with school, and I had to make special arrangements at work to get a good 6-7 day stretch off so we could thoroughly enjoy ourselves. Mom and Dad left balmy OH where it was 87 degrees at 5am to land in San Fran at 2pm where it was just around 60 degrees. They, just like me a year ago, and so many others have disbelief as how "cool" California temps actually are! I'm excited that this will probably be my first and only summer that I won't have to endure the East Coast heat and humidity!

We did a lot, and saw a lot so I'll try to be brief and touch on the highlights day by day. Here goes!

Wednesday

-the 'rents arrived, surprisingly full of energy after an early morning and long day of travel

-first stop was to grab some food at In-N-Out burger, then drove down Lombard, then up to Coit tower for some city views, then on our way to the GG we swung a hard right on a whim and visited the Palace (which is gorgeous), then re-routed back to the GG where we parked it and actually walked out onto the bridge. we had great weather so we got some fab pics. next we drove across the bridge and stopped at a little vista point to get some great city shots. we did a quick drive through tour of Sausalito and before we knew it the time was 7 and we drove back to PA and grabbed some Chipotle for dinner.

 

Thursday

-got an early start and drove almost 4 hours south down "the" 101 to Central Coast, passing lots of vineyards and produce fields
-we visited the Hearst Castle (truly spectacular) built by newspaper legend William Randolph Hearst (i highly recommend going here!)
-drove down to Morro Bay for a seaside dinner just in time for sunset, walked the dock and grabbed some dessert at Sun 'n Buns Bakery
-lodged at the Morgan Hotel, named after the Castle's architect Julia Morgan

 

 

 

Friday

-drove north to Monterey/Carmel for the day

-did 17 mile drive where we met a few sea lions, otters, and overly friendly squirrels

-visite Pebble Beach Golf Club and Dad had to help some men chip their ball out of the sandtrap (or at least that's what he's telling ppl based off of this pic)

-enjoyed a late lunch/early dinner at Pepe's (Italian of course) in Carmel by the Sea, so yummy!

-on the way home we stopped at a great farmer's market/fruit stand around Santa Cruz and got tons of cheap produce
-we listened to a lot of 70's music per Dad's request while i drove and mom read a book in the backseat :)

 

 

Saturday
-slept in and had a wonderful homemade breakfast of sausage gravy and biscuits with fresh strawberries
-it was rainy and we were lazy so we made the cutest sugar cookies and took them to work so mom and dad could see the PICU
-did a mini driving tour of Stanford Campus
-had to resupply some groceries, mom went into sticker shock at the high prices
-we made lunch at home then drove up to the city and strolled around Fisherman's Wharf and Ghiradelli Square
-we met up with my Duke girls for sushi in San Fran (it was mom 'n dad's first time and they did great!)
-drove up to Twin Peaks (highest point in SF) and saw some great city lights from bridge to bridge (GG-Bay)
 
 


Sunday
-went to Grace Pres and introduced them to a few friends...mainly boys (the 'rents behaved themselves and didn't conduct any marriage interviews)
-drove up to SF and grabbed lunch in Chinatown, another first for mom 'n dad, they did great with Dim Sum and as always i ordered too much
-stolled through lots of fun shops and picked up a few souvenirs for the small cousins
-made our way down to Market/Union and did some window shopping + real shopping: found a gift for Pa, mom bought me a dress from GAP as a birthday present, and we also picked up a gift for Emma at Anthro (M- if you're reading this, you're gonna love it!), Dad was enthralled by the GG bridge they had on display made out of Rice-a-Roni boxes, and we found the building with old Singer sewing machines on display
-came home and made a late dinner & smoothies, watched wholesome family shows like "What would you do?" and "Undercover Boss"
 
 

Monday

-took our time in the morning since it was rainy/drizzly again
-visited Muir Woods to see the Redwoods (they look so unimpressive in photos, but in person WOW!)
-drove across the GG for the last time together :(
-ran a few errands, then made dinner at home and subjected dad to watching "The Bachelorette" with me


 


Tuesday

-yucky morning weather again so we took our time with a late breakfast and packing up their suitcases

-had a tearful goodbye at the airport after a wonderful visit!

-i went home and took a nap, they wore me out ;)

Overall, it was a fabulous time together! By the end I may have been taking showers that were longer than usual to get in some "me" time, and the couch didn't get any comfier, but I wouldn't trade any of that for the memories we made and quality time we shared! I'm so glad they came to visit and could enjoy my California lifestyle of cooler weather, fun destinations, and influential friendships. Until I see them again lots of love will be sent to OH via email/text/calls.