Direction & Devotion

This morning I woke up shortly after 5am thinking I was going to work some OT, but was put "on call". Unable to fall back asleep I headed downstairs, brewed some coffee, made some breakfast and went outside to enjoy the cooler weather. I don't know where you are, but here in Charlottesville (and 99% of the country) it's been ungodly hot. We are finally getting a break from the heat and humidity so my roomate and I are trying to take advantage of the outdoors with evening walks and using our patio.

I'll be the first to admit that my devotions are often scattered and I have a less than stellar track record of how often I do them. I like to blame it on my erratic schedule, but it's really to be blamed on my laziness and not wanting to feel convicted. It's been quite awhile since I started my day off with the Bible over the Today Show...and it felt good.

I recently downloaded YouVersion on my Iphone and they had several options for devotions. I picked one called "God's Ultimate Casting Call" and was really struck by today's devotional titled "God wants to direct your life". Lately I feel like most of my friends and family have been asking me how much longer I'm going to be travel nursing and want to get an idea of where my future is headed. It's so frustrating because I don't know the answer to either of these questions! It's been 2 years now since I left Raleigh and 4 states and 5 jobs later I'm not any closer to figuring out where I belong. I LOVE being a travel nurse, but I know there is more to life than what I'm doing. I'm so grateful for the friends, the adventures, the experiences, the growth, the memories, and on and on...but there is a big part of me that's starting to crave stability, fellowship, companionship/relationships (yes, that includes dating), a space that's mine that I can decorate, etc. I'm 27, I'm single, I'm happy. There are a lot of people that can't say those things. But I'm also 27, desiring to not be single and wanting to be happy sharing my life with someone special and with lots of friends close by in a place that I've decorated thanks to Pinterest's inspiration! I loved my NYC experience, and I've definitely been living in a state of culture shock since leaving. Do I want to MOVE there permanently? No. Will I go back? Yes, or at least I'm planning to for the Fall. I'm still wrestling with why I'm not in Denver, what I've decided is my "dream job and dream city" and am hoping that I can travel out there this winter. It's scary to think of moving permanently for a job w/o "traveling" their first, but maybe I need to take that leap of faith?

Today's Scripture was James 1:23-24
"For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was."

One idea that really stood out is that I don't want to forget. I've tried to be very conscious of the fact that the more I travel, and the more alone I am, the more selfish I become. I want to put other's first, AND I want to put God's plan first. Not mine, which is SO hard to say. I'm really good at planning...or at least I'd like to think so! I have a really great plan to go back to NYC in the fall, finish by Christmas, finally spend the holidays with my family at home, then take a travel job in Denver...then maybe stay there, get a place, decorate and craft, and MAYBE use that "One Day" Pinterest board I made if I find a guy. See, good plan? But is that God's plan for me? I need to do a better job of absorbing the msg that God tells me: He knows my future, He's planned what's best for me, and what He has planned is better than anything I could imagine. Why can I not just rest in that peace of knowing that it's all taken care of? Why do I keep looking back, doubting, needing just one more reassurance? It's just look women and mirrors. No matter what, we have to look just one more time before walking out the door! Is my hair perfect? How's my lipstick (hot pink of course)? It's fine, and I'm going to be fine too, no matter what state I end up in, or if I keep travel nursing, or if I'm single or married.

Unintended Hiatus

Well, I've done it again. Dropped off the blogosphere that is. I don't really know how it happened other than to say I got too caught up in having fun and the less you post each week the more daunting it becomes in the long run to try and catch everyone up on all the happenings in my life. I'm probably more disappointed in letting myself down than the handful of faithful readers (you know who you are and thank you for making my life feel important!). Aside from posting pictures on facebook this is such a great way for me to journal about my life's adventures and capture the emotions and details of what is going on behind the pictures. I know that I've forgotten a lot of the details, but I'm also feeling inspired as I go back through these photos, now several months old, and would like to try and recapture some of these memories! Please bear with me as I try to catch up, thanks!

p.s. If I'm really feeling motivated/tech savvy I'll try to back my posts as they happened.